Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
