He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
