You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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