Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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