living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
