absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
