Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize