hotel room ftw
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
