dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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