I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
