Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
