Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I love having hate sex.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
