I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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