I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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