i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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