I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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