I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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