You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
