Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
