I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
