I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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