My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
