Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
