From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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