Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
