i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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