I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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