Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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