Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
