Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
