We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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