I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
