I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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