i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
