I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
