My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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