Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
