xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He passed out mid-signature
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
