My Higher Power is John Stamos
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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