Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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