So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
