i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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