I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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