i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
