Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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