i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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