wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think my moral compass just broke
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