Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
