I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
