i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
