i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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