he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
