He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You took a bar mat shot.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
