Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
