You're completely useless in the revolution.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
