if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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