allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
