i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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