So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
