Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(424): View more from California

The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.

Fav 5 2482 822
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won

Fav 10 4957 956
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(314): View more from Missouri

sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents

(636): View more from Missouri

never have sex?

Fav 44 4256 945
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(613): View more from Ontario

Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.

Fav 1 3103 1278
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(951): View more from California

We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.

Fav 13 2190 963
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(909): View more from California

Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?

Fav 8 1872 935
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(973): View more from New Jersey

HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME

Fav 3 504 234
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.

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