i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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