Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Terrible idea I love it
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
