This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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