Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
