I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize