On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
