is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my vag is so smooth its legendary
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
