If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
