I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
