Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
